Time to stop comparing my children to others

Like many parents I have found it fascinating watching mini humans evolve over time.  When you become an adult our variations and improvements are generally smaller often indistinguishable changes.  The basic framework for us as people has been built over many years of learning and experiences.  But there is something absolutely fascinating at watching a small person find their way in the world.

Like all parents I like to think I have gifted offspring and like all parents there might be some truth to that but largely my children are no more gifted than the norm.  This isn’t a bad thing and there is nothing stopping all children from doing exceptional things in so many different areas however looking at a small child and declaring them as gifted fails to understand the most basic human element. We are all different.

I have a daughter who is the apple of my eye.  When you spend time with them, they always amaze you with things that they learn.  Whether it be walking, talking, swimming, or any other activity seeing them come to grips with the task is a thing of beauty.

Was my daughter the fastest to walk? No, however she was good at it pretty quickly! Was she the earliest to talk? No, but her collection of words and ability to count seem excellent for her age.  If I was to put her on a graph I would clearly have her in the top range of children her age.

Then came the day we decided to do sport.  Organised, planned, hour long sport.  My child devolved to the point that she was more “cat with laser” than child.  She was running and jumping at shadows, refusing to sit still, and treating every task as some sort of game of avoidance.

Meanwhile some of the other children of the same age sit their patiently and listen with baited breath.  I left frustrated at the fact my usually bright child had descended into chaos and hoped for better weeks ahead.

As the weeks past we did improve, and other kids joined the class who were just as crazy and oblivious as she was her first week.  But it did make me take a deep breath and remember.  Like you and I have different talents and skills so do children.  Just because you might learn something faster or slower isn’t a sign of intelligence rather a sign of priorities.  A little cousin of mine had trouble speaking.  The issue? Two older brothers who would do her bidding.

We’re too fast to worry ourselves about where our child stands against their peers and fail to realise it doesn’t matter.  They will be judged enough as adults, don’t fall into the trap of judging them as kids.  Childhood is an amazing journey and not all children take the same path.  All we can do as parents is take a deep breath, grab their hand, and walk with them.